I have been pondering this question for quite a while now. Especially, as the first year of my sobriety draws to an end and as there were a many challenges that would have caused me to find reasons to get back to drinking.

First off, there is a wise saying, that goes like this:

If you want it, there is a way.
If you don’t want it, there is a reason.

When it comes down to ADHD and/or you are struggling to stay sober, this saying is definitely right.

I have found so many reasons in my life to procrastinate (ADHD) and/or to delay quitting drinking (alcohol).

And there it came: Why, on earth, did I succeed in staying sober if ADHD and addiction causes so much volatility in motivation and sustainable choices. In other words: There is no sustainable choice or motivation in most cases.

I think the one reason (or maybe a multitude of reasons) for keeping up motivation is, first place, the health issues that loomed around the corner as well as financial aspects and the prospect of alcoholism being a hard to kill addiction.

You could say: I saw a certain urgency to take action. Then I had found a way to do it for “only two minutes” (not in a literal sense of course). Plus, finding the appropriate app (Reframe) that helped me rewire my habits about drinking, in connection with micro-rewards, helped me through the first period.

Interestingly, the whole thing became sorts of an automatism, because once I found habitual loops reinforcing especially my sense of self efficacy, micro-rewards were something that has accompanied me all way along. The main risk was or still is searching for “hollow dopamine” without sustainable effect. This, in turn, would only substitute one addiction for another. But meaningfulness and self efficacy have become part of my identity and this in turn has become the main driver for my actions and thus for staying sober.

Plus, the insights about ADHD, anxiety and depression – in summary: psychoeducation – has also played a big role in staying sober sustainably. But the bad advisor comes back every once in a while. This is the reason it is so important for me to remind myself of the positive way I have come and what would be at stake if I gave in to the bad advisor.

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.