The Clear Horizon

From oblivion of alcoholism into the light of sobriety

mental-health

  • Defeating self expectations, or self defeating expectations?

    Here we go again. Seeing the logo of my podcast host service alone pushes up stress levels. Why is that so? Well, it’s all about motivation and in turn over exaggerated expectations generated by it. The problem arising is a recurring pattern in ADHD, enough to make a Cosmic Horror short story out of (and… Read more

  • Giving meaning to the eternal Horror that is called the cycle of life

    Have you ever watched the film Vivarium? No? Well, I would say it’s one of the most unsettling films I’ve ever seen. Here’s why and why it’s important for my voyage. It’s not a Lovecraftian film in the strict sense. But it has a lot of the implications of the insignificance of humans in the… Read more

  • A cul de sac – What now?

    Keeping up the energy to get going is pretty stressful. I am now beginning to realize that it’s not simply about building up too many good habits and trying to do too many “good things” at once. I have a more fundamental problem right now, and that is something I dreaded in a long time:… Read more

  • Total freedom to exploit my mind – the pros and cons of being a pedagogue

    If people asked me what the perfect job was for me… …30 years ago: I would have said – programmer! I can indulge in nerdy stuff, be a tech-guy (following in the footsteps of my father being into technology and craftsmanship) and overcome my feelings of maths ineptitude. Result: Fail – I would have had… Read more

  • Learning to love the Moment

    What’s keeping me sane, my self efficacy up and my soul stable? Correct. Good emotions and enough dopamine in a smooth and even distribution. Well, that’s the base line scenario to keep me in a mentally stable state. But, how to achieve it, broken down in terms of dealing with yesterday, today and tomorrow –… Read more

  • Depression, the Clown and Cosmic Horror

    Trigger Warning: This blog post deals partly with suicide. Send in the Clown… Can you remember Robin Williams? I think he was the poster boy for versatile actors, who perfectly incorporated tragic-comical characters as well as right out comedian roles. I would say he was one of the funniest actors of his time. And he… Read more

  • Maintaining the Equilibrium – Avoiding the Void of Madness

    Like I wrote before, finding an equilibrium is a very important goal on the way to the Clear Horizon. It’s a walk on the razor’s edge, holding the balance line of emotions is like a wild ride on the waves and over-exaggeration of certain habits and activities is turning everything askew. Well, how does Cosmic… Read more

  • Life: No matter what you do, it’s wrong. Where are borders?

    Life is the sum of our choices and experience. Yes, it is. But is everything we do based on our own choice? And if so, are all these choices right? Probably not. The question is, in how far does it matter? Who is to judge? Alcoholism is a spectrum. There is a broad range of… Read more

  • Half a year sober. Whaddup next?

    I have written about some of the things earlier that would come along after half a year of my sobriety. Again, just like after stepping out of the Pink Cloud, I have the feeling of having proceeded to another level of dealing with my recovery. Which really is a good thing. Sometimes it feels like… Read more

  • there is no beginning, no end, no certainty. So, why not make my own worldview…?

    Let’s face two perspectives: And then we have the opposite: 2. The Universe is cold. It’s big. It’s impossible to fathom. There is no certainty. By its nature, the universe is chaos, it’s not structured; no, not even the physical laws are that predictable, since Quantum Mechanics tell us that there are only probabilities, but… Read more