Yesterday I reflected on the question when an addiction is actually an addiction, and apart from the “objective” diagnosis you get from a doctor or therapist, it is mostly up to you to define and feel if you have an addiction. I was neither diagnosed nor had I a distinct conversation with people who told me or gave me the feeling of being a “proper alcoholic”. As I said, it felt like an addiction. If it was or not is of no importance to me.

I know I abused alcohol, I had triggers, cravings and I had a hard time stopping after 2-3 or even more drinks. And I did it in secret. That was enough for me to set the boundary to stop drinking before it actually got out of hand, I would need to go to a clinic or to a therapist and make a substance detox. I had no physical withdrawal symptoms, which I am very thankful for.

But the question remains: Where is the red line when you are actually an “alcoholic”, or “addicted”?

The answer is, there is no particular black or white dichotomy, nor is it an answer easily given due to a quantitative approach to it. Since we are all, physically, psychically and habitually different individuals, the question is to be answered individually concerning habit, amount and frequency.

Well, yes, if you show physical withdrawal symptoms, you have crossed a line, because then it is obvious that you have reached a tipping point.

But if you have “simply” a psychical addiction, the question remains. And here are so many different aspects to be taken into account that

• it depends on YOUR individual aspects of consuming, if you consider yourself addicted (or on your social environment). You may feel addicted if you regularly drink one beer and have the feeling you can’t ever go without it any single day.
• Since it is a question to be answered individually, substance abuse which can’t be controlled can vary from mild to severe, from infrequent to highly frequent, in many shapes and colors.

That is why I find it easier to consider alcohol abuse as a syndrome and not so much as an illness you can chisel in stone once you reach a certain point. Some people may drink a lot of alcohol and they may never have any problematic outcomes and they can stop any time they want to. And there are people who get hooked after 2 years of mild drinking. It remains in a broad spectrum.

And I am happy to have gotten out of it, no matter how mild or severe I was caught in it. For me, it only matters that It interfered problematically with my psyche, my body and my social life. Enough to never want to go back there.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.