The Clear Horizon

From oblivion of alcoholism into the light of sobriety

recovery

  • When is must can, and can must?

    Ok, we have basically four modes: must-must must-can can-must can-can WTF? Ok. Here goes: Things that have to be done. No way around it. Or, like my great grandmother used to say: “Only death will save you from…” These are the things that have the motivation label “urgency”. I think it is comprehensible, that this… Read more

  • Maintaining the Equilibrium – Avoiding the Void of Madness

    Like I wrote before, finding an equilibrium is a very important goal on the way to the Clear Horizon. It’s a walk on the razor’s edge, holding the balance line of emotions is like a wild ride on the waves and over-exaggeration of certain habits and activities is turning everything askew. Well, how does Cosmic… Read more

  • Life: No matter what you do, it’s wrong. Where are borders?

    Life is the sum of our choices and experience. Yes, it is. But is everything we do based on our own choice? And if so, are all these choices right? Probably not. The question is, in how far does it matter? Who is to judge? Alcoholism is a spectrum. There is a broad range of… Read more

  • Half a year sober. Whaddup next?

    I have written about some of the things earlier that would come along after half a year of my sobriety. Again, just like after stepping out of the Pink Cloud, I have the feeling of having proceeded to another level of dealing with my recovery. Which really is a good thing. Sometimes it feels like… Read more

  • there is no beginning, no end, no certainty. So, why not make my own worldview…?

    Let’s face two perspectives: Everything is well ordered and structured. There is an entity, let’s call it God, Allah, Shiva, the Great Spaghetti Monster, or whatever your deity of worship is called. Everything in this world has a purpose, your life has a purpose, there is a beginning and (most probably) an end. There is… Read more

  • My recovery is political after all…

    I try to be as little politcal as possible in this blog, yes. I will not blame political right or left, nor do I want to nameshame certain politicians or spread political views. But I would like to comment on certain developments, political and societal, which really tick me off in terms of having turned… Read more

  • Space Horror isn‘t necessarily Cosmic Horror. – Here’s why and why it matters

    Boy, I really need to have an eye on myself not getting actually consumed by the topic which is currently my navigational compass. I just saw a Cosmic Horror film that just ticks off every single characteristic of what makes a film or story Cosmic Horror. And that brings me to the question: When is… Read more

  • A cycle ending, but the Horror goes on…?

    A week at the sea has ended and I am back in domestic territory. Funny thing: After a perfectly clear horizon yesterday giving me the symbolic anchor of a time to breathe, today the weather hailed us with snow and wind. As if the Universe wanted to tell me something… No, joke aside. Of course… Read more

  • The Clearest Horizon in a Long time: What do the old ones from the Deep try to Tell me? – The power of symbolism in Recovery

    Yes, another overcomplicated headline and topic, but the longer I stay at the sea and the more time I find at the moment to dive into the works of Thomas Ligotti, my hyperfocus is feverishly working. And then, today, I went to the beach, and it was the clearest horizon I saw in a long… Read more

  • Horror RPG Journaling and the practical use of fiction in mental health remedy

    I think I have reached another waymark in the process of my recovery, and this time it seems to be a more complex one. My stay at the sea has condensed a couple of interesting thoughts regarding cosmic horror, philosophical horror, the disorders in my individual system as well as the self awareness and what… Read more