Ok, we have basically four modes:

1. must-must
2. must-can
3. can-must
4. can-can

WTF?

Ok. Here goes:

1. Things that have to be done. No way around it. Or, like my great grandmother used to say: “Only death will save you from…” These are the things that have the motivation label “urgency”. I think it is comprehensible, that this mode is extrinsically motivated, has a high potential for procrastination and will be postponed as long as possible, or there will be a way to somehow divert or avoid it. Some appointments at work, like an “employee-dialogue” ranges in this category. The reward afterwards is mostly at best relief, since the anticipated outcome is normally nothing to look forward to. Of course, there are other examples, but one should suffice. Another imprortant aspect is that the learning curve after successfully dealing with this activity is normally pretty flat if even available.
2. This is pretty peculiar, and mostly self inflicted. There is an (initial) strong intrinsic motivation, driven mostly by novelty or challenge, but if you try to put it into a habit, or if dealing with this activity draws closer, the more likely the motivation is dwindling into oblivion, there will be excuses and diversions and we will find reasons why this activity is not so important after all: It is something I put on my bucket list and then have the feeling it is something I chose to do, but it becomes a “must”. If the feeling of being overwhelmed by the activity outgrows the motivation of novelty or challenge, I reject doing the activity and start procrastinating and finding reasons not to delve into this activity. Afterwards, after an initial phase of relief, the outcome is shame, feeling of ineptitude and a bad conscience. Rewards, on the other hand, reach from relief of having had the guts to do it to other good things. The learning curve is depending on how stressful solving the task was.
3. can-must: This is something the other way around: An initial extrinsic motivation becomes so alluring, that making a challenge or novelty out of it, driven more by interest than by urgency. This may be a doctor’s advice to go into sports and after a while you find the thought of getting fit more and more appealing. This can result in a habit loop, because the reward is so promising, having voluntarily chosen to do something that has to be done. The learning curve is mostly pretty good, because the motivation generated out of the result is self enforcing. There is, however, the risk, that can-must becomes can-must-can, if you know what I mean.
4. The “crown-mode” is, of course, can-can. I don’t think it is necessary to go too deep into explanation, because you might have gotten the gist of my crazy thinking in this post. So, motivation is most certainly driven by interest, novelty or challenge. The reward is very good, apart from the dopamine and self efficacy, it is normally self enforcing, up till the point it gets to be can-can-must.

So, when is something must-can and when is it can-must in my case?

A “must” becomes a “can”, or must-can, if I find a way to reframe the initial urgency or obligation into something that is becoming intriguing and appealing enough to get me into a mode where I have the best chance to generate a habit loop or a flow state out of.

This is something I have discussed earlier, namely when it was about how to utilize Hyperfocus into flow with activities I don’t like.

A “can” becomes a “must”, or a can-must, if either the initial appeal and motivation becomes so urgent but loses novelty or interest, that even challenging myself to accomplish it feels more like a chore than a challenge. This is mostly the case if I feel the initial drive to deal habitually with certain aspects of my Core or Recovery which are devoided of sensibility over time. Then I can either find further aspects of novelty or interest, because there will be none or only few instances to monitor or control my actions. So, if it is too much of a burden and the urgency does not stick enough (because I decide if it’s urgent or not) these activities sooner or later land on the discard pile of my Interest Deck.

Until next time, take one step at a time and keep up the faith in yourself.