Well, it’s not only about authenticity, but authenticity makes the most important aspect of the next stage of my recovery journey.

Authenticity does not mean to me that I need an excuse to be rude to people by saying them exactly what I think or that I am declining anything that doesn’t suit my needs.

Authenticity is a necessity to me in my job and my private life. Why is that so? Won’t it be easier to be simply fulfilling everybody’s needs and budge or say yes to avoid confrontation or avoid situations in which being authentic may be a hindrance?

The answer is: If I always have to play a role to be convenient to clients, it will be a very hard task to keep up the energy to maintain the role image. Being a role model doesn’t meant to neglect your true authentic self.

In short, this is exactly, what it’s about: Save your energy and be true to yourself is what I want to define my reality and my work life. Being authentic should feel natural and it will be part of my personality. If I am not authentic to other people and, in the end, not to myself, then how will I come the a self-esteeming and compassionate way of thinking about myself? I have suppressed my character traits for so long, have played roles, played along and made restrictions to myself that in the end I asked myself the question if my reactions, emotions and mental state were even real or if I was lying to myself.

The truth is, yes, part of my personality is being altruistic and charitable. I don’t know if that has always been the case, but it definitely has been for the past 15 years. That is a truth I can say is chiseled in stone.

Yet, there are many aspects of my personality I still need to (re-)discover, because drinking has made me un-learn a lot of my authentic character traits.

So, the reason I am writing here, starting a Podcast, writing a book, finding a real-life community for recovery is not only a way to express and sort my thoughts, it is also a turn into the outside world to proof – not only to readers, but also – to me how authentic I am and how authentic I want to be.

Writing here and expressing my thoughts and feelings has nothing to do with life-improving influencing or telling people what and how to do things or moralizing about my failures or other people’s failures. It’s not about teaching.

It is for myself, yes, but simultaneously it is sharing my experience in a way that maybe someone can draw something from it.

It’s the same like in my job: It has to do with self-esteem, self-worth and self efficacy. Sharing this has to do with altruism. In a truthful and authentic way.

This is why I am taking it to the next level , farther away from the digital world where I can hide behind a screen and a keyboard. We all know how unauthentic social media tend to be.

This is my take on authenticity. And this, I am learning right now, is shaping my identity.

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.