When my mid – 40s hit, I had the feeling something went horribly wrong in my life. I hated my job, approached my third burnout and I had the feeling I had taken the wrong turn somewhere in my life, although I have always told myself and everybody I wasn’t into a materialistic lifestyle.

Interestingly, I told myself that, but it didn’t feel like it. I thought I would be diving headfirst into a severe midlife crisis, without noticing I already had. I had the feeling I needed the better computer, so I bought a premium notebook. I thought I needed a better smartphone, same sh*t. I thought I needed a better car, so I leased an electric car.

The list is pretty much never ending (at least it feels like it). I told myself I really needed that crap, maybe to feel more manly, I don’t know. The pandemic was nearly over and had left me and a lot of other people confused.

Finally, I slid into my third burnout, and I started to rethink a lot of things thoroughly. What I had told myself seemed like I had to dive into the feeling.

Maybe that was when my final stage of abusive drinking began, because the first signs of doubt emerged, but I couldn’t muster the energy and motivation to get out of it. Yet, my way of reframing my life had already begun.

To cut a long story short: I guess I was in the claws of a midlife crisis, but if I really experienced a midlife crisis, I already had it drowned in the noise of my alcohol abuse and my burnouts. Instead of spending more money on expensive stuff I didn’t need, I think I got out of the spinning wheel before it went too fast. It took me 2 more years to get sober, yes, but at least I escaped bankruptcy, avoided losing my family and abstained from harder drugs by a razor thin margin thanks to the red flags that went up thanks to my burnout. It told me things severely needed to change. Despite the fact that it took me 2 other years to get myself sober, I started my big psycho-clean up back then and I am very glad that I didn’t end up in the gutter.

So, yes, I guess it was a midlife crisis. And somehow all the weird coincidences saved me from a worse outcome so I think I was lucky… Or I drew the correct consequences – which is the narrative I want to believe because it gives me a good feeling.

You are, in the end, the only person capable of getting out of sh*t. Of course, everyone needs support. But the initial steps and the motivation is yours and yours alone.

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.