I recently listened to commercials on the radio, and it suggested to “live your dreams” and “be individualistic” and “free your mind”, “be yourself”. It sounded like some sort of lifestyle coaching tips, but in the end it was only an advertisement for a car, an SUV, that superficially suggests an independent lifestyle, outdoors, with campfire romanticism and the rugged life in nature.

Bah!

If I dive deep enough into this narrative and combine it with the crap I hear on social media, I simply come to the conclusion that THIS is exactly what is meant by “toxic positivity”.

It’s superficial, it’s a completely lopsided view of all the values it tries to support: There is no fulfilling my dream in driving an SUV through the Mesas of Spain. There is nothing individualistic about owning an SUV (because everything owns one), there is no way I feel like “myself”, because I am sitting in a big car, and feeling myself or nature around me is nothing do in a big car.

Don’t get me wrong, an SUV is (maybe) a superb car, but I don’t need it for the false claims of the commercial. It’s just like clickbait to maximize profit, not for the benefit of your wellbeing.

So, what’s the difference then, between superficial fraudulent claims of commercials and real fullfillment of your life improvement? First of all, there is absolutely no use of materialistic eclecticism to get you happy. That’s only like quick fixes to boost your. dopamine levels for a short time before remorse sets in when you realize the old car would have done the same for your happiness: Bring you to the outdoors, step out of the car and find happiness by indulging in nature on your feet.

I am not promoting a life of asceticism, nor am I declining it. Being truly individual(fistic) for me means to listen to my needs and my desires without limiting the frontiers of my peers and family. Hedonism is something I am not condemning, but excessive hedonism like “I need my space to drink alone and give a f*ck about my family and friends is not my way (anymore). Realizing this has had a profound impact an my decision for sobriety. Recovery means re-evaluating my current choices and dealing with them in a self-compassionate way without avoiding the bad emotions. It is, of course, not always easy to condemn myself for earlier choices, but my take is that I am the sum of my choices and experiences. My take on individual improvement is not a lifestyle trend on social media that everyone does to be the best improved individual. My take is that I do what I think is fit for myself.

Although, the new SUV by the brand I heard the commercial from is a nice car… mmmmhhhh… 😛

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.