After a couple of years, I felt it was time to get rid of the feeling of having no proper qualification (in teacher education, you were only deemed as “qualified” once you had both degrees of teacher education, at least if you want to work in a public school, and I wanted to get out of private school teaching business). I decided to obtain a master’s degree in professional education (pedagogy). So I attended a three years course which could be completed aside of my work as a teacher at a school for kids with problems and issues (ADHD, autism, anxiety). I found the studies very good to professionalism my working routine. After I had the degree, I didn’t dare leaving the teaching business. It took me another burnout and 5 years of teaching at two different Waldorf schools before I finally quit. In this time, you may guess what my drinking patterns looked like? Correct! I escalated my drinking habits.

Two new friends I got was “daytime drinking” and “hidden drinking”. What a stressful mess. You always feel guilty, you are developing paranoia because you always think everyone sees how you are drunk and stumbling and hiding and finding excuses. Each time I had a burnout, my drinking habits got worse. In the end, I drank about 67 fl oz of beer every day and I wouldn’t feel an effect anymore. So, when I wanted to get hammered, it got even worse.

After my second burn out, I decided to leave teaching for good. I became a social worker, which was the best career or job life decision of my life. Yet, it wasn’t enough to get me away from drinking. I tried many different strategies to get rid of drinking, like setting boundaries, controlled drinking, telling myself I would stop tomorrow, you name it. I will write on this issue later in more detail.

After three more years of remorse, ruining my health (I gained 20 pounds in two years adding up to a 220 pounds, got high blood pressure, my anxiety disorder worsened, I had terrible liver values…) and hiding my drinking, I decided I needed to stop…

It took me another half year before I got active. I started building up a sports routine and that was the game changer. After building up a routine of running, healthy food, muscle training and Krav Maga, I finally got the turn and at first cut back alcohol and then decided it was time for sober October. I will be more detailed here later on.

Now I am at the level to run a half marathon next year, I do Tai Chi, I am into self defense teaching and I weigh less than 190 pounds and I am fuller in energy than ever. I will elaborate on that in detail.

Until then: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time!