Sometimes things are harder to endure than in other times. My personal suffering boundaries depend a lot on overwhelming and stressful life situations and lack of motivation, that’s for sure.

In different modes and moods, I tend to react differently to things that are bugging me and stressing me out up to the point of depressive episodes or anxiety collapse, although the extreme outcomes of these points are rather rare these days, thank god.

I have learnt that pushing these boundaries and accepting things I can’t change, respectively surfing the bad emotions in order to come to terms with them are top notch possibilities to deal with my problems.

The methodology for this is mainly self efficacy and identity building, yes, but also reflecting and finding meaning in fiction and non-fiction manifestations that enter my life. And horror fiction, especially cosmic, existential, weird and philosophical horror help me push these borders equally effective like sports or motivating results of my efforts.

And then there is advice from people who think they know. Well, do they?

Take my family doctor for example: He told me that taking prescribed medication against my ADHD. Well, yes, I can go with that advice a couple of footsteps. And as much as I trust my doc and the way he suggests based on evidence based scientific medicine is fine up to a certain point. And that is when conviction collides with different interpretations of scientific studies (my family doctor vs my therapist) and it collides with common sense.

And then comes the point (not only in this example) when I just can say: I know I can’t solve every problem alone, let alone with diversions like alcohol or other substance abuse. But I take the choices of what I think is a helpful aid. I detest every kind of dogmatic conviction up to the point I am considering changing my family doctor, for instance.

And this, my friends, is why I think self efficacy and a self assured stance in my life is so important. Because the choices we make is what matters. Not if we do it alone without help, as a lone wolf or a leader or whatever. It’s the choices we learn to trust in. And if it was a wrong choice, deal with the mistake and go on in an improved way.

Like the German band “die Ärzte” once wrote:

“Es ist nicht deine Schuld, dass die Welt ist, wie sie ist, es wäre nur deine Schuld, wenn sie so bleibt”

or in English:

It’s not your fault that the world is as it is, but it’d be yours if it stayed this way.

Make meaningful choices and stand your woman or man (or whatever you identify as).

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.