This post is somewhat related to the “Hyperion Cantos” which I am still working through but also some questions I have been pondering on a couple of days (or is it weeks?) now.

I guess one of the reasons I never put myself in the hands of the AA or the Blue Cross or other institutions that have a strong affiliation to Christianity and/or God is that I have some serious issues with the concept of religion and especially dogma.

I may – or may not – stomp on the feet of some of those of you reading this, and this is in no way a rant or a bashing of the church or of religion. I think everybody should believe what they want as long as they are not forcing themselves, violently or not, upon others.

See, in MY opinion, there is no such thing as a religious truth or something that everybody must or should believe in. I, for myself, am convinced that no higher deity or god is actually responsible for my drinking or my sobriety. If there is a God (which I want to believe in, thus you may call me a theistic agnostic), and if she gave us a free will, then I simply cannot believe that God has or even wants control over my fate.

That is something I was reminded of very energetically by the ending of “Fall of Hyperion”, “Endymion” and “Rise of Endymion”, because the question of faith, religion, dogma and institutionalized lying are strong contrasts in the books, with an important focus on the actual point of view. There are interesting concepts of belief, of how there is a convergence of evolution, love, faith and the universe (too much to deal with here) and, if you are interested, you might dive deeper into these concepts by reading the philosophical thought of the French Jesuit Teilhard.

I, for myself, can relate a lot to this philosophy, as well as the way Spinoza‘s concept of pantheism.

I guess one reason I find the concepts of Lovecraft and Ligotti so interesting is because it is a very radical view of a malevolent or indifferent universe. It becomes interesting to contrast my thoughts of benevolence and love in this universe to these views, made effective through the actions of the individual (through altruism and self efficacy in your own individual system), which I think is very strong.

So, taking this all into consideration, also with the focus on my Core and my sobriety, gives me a strong and vivid individual faith, which I do not have to force onto others, because I, for myself, can find consolence and truth in my system of action and belief. But what works for me doesn’t necessarily need to work for others.

And that is probably why I chose my own individual way out of dangerous alcohol consumption.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.