A week at the sea has ended and I am back in domestic territory. Funny thing: After a perfectly clear horizon yesterday giving me the symbolic anchor of a time to breathe, today the weather hailed us with snow and wind. As if the Universe wanted to tell me something…

No, joke aside. Of course I know that good weather can’t stay forever and that the eye of the storm will pass, the sun will be pushed aside by rain, whatever you will. But the time I had at the sea was a very intense time dealing with my inner world and the aspects of philosophy and cosmic horror.

What will remain after this week of diving deeper into my own microcosmos?

A lot, I would say. I had time to sort things out, structure my way ahead and take the next step towards dealing with my core in a multi faceted, visualizing, deeply psychological way. And that is a very important takeaway.

See, I always tried to get to the sea once a year which, in my 48 years of existence on this blue ball, has been successful at least 80-90% of the time.

Not that it really counts, but I must say I now fully understand the dar reaching implications of my yearning to visit the sea once a year.

It has a very cleansing effect, like a salt peeling in the sauna.

It was surely no foreboding using Cosmic Horror as a meidium to dive deeper into my Core in combination with the sea, but I realized that I found two aspects of my “system mobile” which fit well together, and maybe it’s another aspect of bringing two mindsets together, that didn’t oppose each other, but that I found a clear connection between only today.

I think, especially from a somewhat existential and philosophical point of view, I am now in deeper understanding of what “atomizing” – deconstructing processes or aspects or whatever reality throws at my feet to the smallest possible bits – and then reconstruct them in a way they may suit my system, means. I am not talking about some superpower or some godlike megalomania, but simply the freedom to have a couple of symbolic construction sets of lego that I can deconstruct so that only the pieces remain and I can start building up something new. But with the limitations the sets give me.

I am not quite finished with these thoughts. Maybe this is just a start. But what I can say is: One cycle has ended (last year’s visit at the sea until now, maybe?): I sincerely started thinking about stopping drinking in that vacation, but I returned to heavy drinking just the day I started working again – And now, after my last week at the sea, I start seeing clearer.

Of course: This process will accompany me until the rest of my life. I think I wrote something like this yesterday: The prospect of doing and redoing and repeating could be deemed as a truly cosmic horror event. But it isn’t, because I can see the progress; it’s not a never-ending circle. It’s a spiraling way towards the Clear Horizon.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.