Will I ever find an end in this journey? Probably not.

The good thing about this, though, is the fact that I have control of the pace and the length of this journey.

As far as I am concerned, there is still a lot to dive into, and the road is still a long and – in parts – a stony one. That doesn’t mean it’s all ascending and getting harder. Or that it is steadily about progress.

In the last days, I have had the recurring event of catching a cold, which actually is a natural brake to slow down my pace on the way. Which is, on the one hand, pretty good, because then it gives me the opportunity to have a reflecting look at my progress and my motivation. And at the moment, it said: Hold your horses, rover, you’re running hot. After my last 10k run, I wanted to put even more effort in running and sports, and bam: the next day I landed flat on my nose – figuratively speaking, but my nose was involved: I suffer from my worst cold in years.

The other thing is that sometimes there seem to be no things I can write about, so the beast inside me driving me seems to starve to death. And that is never good with a neurodivergent mind. Boredom sparks interest towards other things and my mind could get off course regarding the aspects I have to take care off in my Core.

The thing is, I still need to find the ruler to limit the extremes:

Doing too much: Bam, sick.

Doing too little: Bam, boredom.

Both lead to self doubts and the feeling of not doing enough or not regulating myself enough. Either way, it’s a good way to take a step back and reevaluate. This time reevaluation targets at the way to keep a balanced centerline. I will discuss that in tomorrow’s post.

The good thing about it is: I have new food to feed my beast to get going again. The streak of reflections and posting isn’t broken, just slowed down. Phew. The beast has survived.

The other good thing is, I don’t need to be too tense about getting new input. My job and my life normally give me enough input, but since I am leading energy reduced life right now, I need other sources of input. And this is Podcasts and blogs. I don’t need Social Media for that.

And that is the third good thing. I can feed my beast with thoughts I get from sources that don’t attack my mental health too much, like shopping addiction, doom scrolling or substance.

I think when the day has come I think this journey can end, or take a slower pace, then I will know that I have dealt with my Recovery (at least in terms of blogging and podcasting) enough.

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.