Ok, back into the rabbit hole. I am not actually sure if I really want to dig that deep into the rabbit hole, since there might be aspects that I would rather have sleeping until the dusk of time. But since it is all about the “Hauptmeise” (main tit (the bird!!!), better translation would be: the main reason to be nuts), and not about the “Kollateralmeise” (the collateral tit, side aspects of being nuts), I need to get deeper to the core of things.

To explain: The German author Simon Borowiak wrote about these two (Hauptmeise, Kollateralmeise) to explain the reasons and necessities to deal with when it comes to abusive substance consumption:

The “Kollateralmeise” is described as only a foreground problem like substance abuse. If you successfully get rid of your “Kollateralmeise”, the main problem, the Core, or “Hauptmeise” remains. So you will end up finding another “Kollateralmeise” to compensate for your quitting of substance abuse.

The “Hauptmeise” is described as the main reason why you drink alcohol at all (in theory; in practice it may not apply to all substance consumers).

For me, it seems, it applied. Toxic friends and relationships were one thing, a lack of feeling “manly” was (most definitely) another, because I was a very very late bloomer.

I know there are more things down there. I know I will deal with them, sooner or later, but I also know I don’t want to deal with them all at once. I think it is helpful to shed light only to the next corner in order to grapple with one obstacle at a time. Otherwise I might risk the collapse of the rabbit hole and I might get stuck in deeper problems than my “Hauptmeise”.

The whole post may sound a little weird do to the German expressions, but I found them so intriguing and understandable.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.