When I quit drinking, I had the conviction that I could go on with my habits like before, only by shifting from alcoholic beverages to non alcoholic beverages, but the amount and the habits stayed the same. I thought that this would keep me from becoming boring in the eyes of other people.

Plus, there was the blissful state of being in the Pink Cloud (the post will come, I promise), but since it is fading away, I keep recognizing harmful patterns, friendships and beliefs that I was, up until now, too timid and too arrogant to change.

Well, things are changing. Fast. Some of the changes come in terrifying speed, but that is no excuse for not proceeding. My take is that a lot of people I know (and I, myself, too, if I had not started changing my attitude towards alcohol) quit quitting because of the fear of changing too much in their life at once.

Since I have embraced this change, I have been building on my bullet proof vest, and a lot of my beliefs and mindsets have changed – and they are still changing.

I am rethinking my habits about non alcoholic drinks and old habits simply out of the fear of sinking into depression because I stick to habits related to alcohol I would only could deal with alcohol. So I reframed these habits. And then I realized that this leads to a chain reaction relating to other habits that need to be changed.

And this leads to different mindsets. So, in order not to be confusing myself, I am writing. But people tend to say: “on day x you said this, now you are saying y, I don’t believe you anymore”.

Well, then, don’t believe me. I don’t mean to write an instruction manual or an argumentative essay. I am writing about my experience and my choices. I don’t need to justify any of this, because I know it’s the right thing in that specific moment, always knowing that this is a work in progress, with a lot of try and error. And since I learned that a failure can be hurtful, but stepping back opens other opportunities (after accepting the why and how of my failure). This is the way to succeeding in the way to recovery. I don’t mean success in the way I will have finished the process on a specific day X. It is rather giving me new points of orientation. The way remains the goal.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.