The Clear Horizon

From oblivion of alcoholism into the light of sobriety

life

  • Half a year sober. Whaddup next?

    I have written about some of the things earlier that would come along after half a year of my sobriety. Again, just like after stepping out of the Pink Cloud, I have the feeling of having proceeded to another level of dealing with my recovery. Which really is a good thing. Sometimes it feels like… Read more

  • Parental expectations, told and untold

    Today I had a podcast interview with two awesome guys from a German Sobriety Podcast, and the topic was, of course, about my alcohol abuse and the way into recovery. There was one topic touched upon, which echoes still in my system which I find worth mentioning: Expectations my parents had in me. Even if… Read more

  • there is no beginning, no end, no certainty. So, why not make my own worldview…?

    Let’s face two perspectives: And then we have the opposite: 2. The Universe is cold. It’s big. It’s impossible to fathom. There is no certainty. By its nature, the universe is chaos, it’s not structured; no, not even the physical laws are that predictable, since Quantum Mechanics tell us that there are only probabilities, but… Read more

  • Evidence for sustainable Self efficacy

    I have been pondering on this issue for a while now, and up until now, I could only get a grasp on self efficacy in terms of short lived response and reward (feeling good with a rush of dopamine and then slowly bounce back (ideally) into a state of balanced emotional state for a while).… Read more

  • A cycle ending, but the Horror goes on…?

    A week at the sea has ended and I am back in domestic territory. Funny thing: After a perfectly clear horizon yesterday giving me the symbolic anchor of a time to breathe, today the weather hailed us with snow and wind. As if the Universe wanted to tell me something… No, joke aside. Of course… Read more

  • The Clearest Horizon in a Long time: What do the old ones from the Deep try to Tell me? – The power of symbolism in Recovery

    Yes, another overcomplicated headline and topic, but the longer I stay at the sea and the more time I find at the moment to dive into the works of Thomas Ligotti, my hyperfocus is feverishly working. And then, today, I went to the beach, and it was the clearest horizon I saw in a long… Read more

  • COVID and Alcohol – what boredom has to do with drinking

    It wasn’t the stress that made me drink more than before in the COVID – era. This is an interesting insight, because I always thought that I had a very stressful time during COVID. Yes, it was stressful. I had a lot of remote home schooling, I had shifts of emergency childcare at the school… Read more

  • Keeping the Beast Alive – why feeding my system from the outside is important

    Will I ever find an end in this journey? Probably not. The good thing about this, though, is the fact that I have control of the pace and the length of this journey. As far as I am concerned, there is still a lot to dive into, and the road is still a long and… Read more

  • My life is like a mobile

    No…not like a phone. Well, sometimes maybe, but this is not what I mean. I mean the kind of kinetic art sculpture you can hang from a ceiling with dangling parts on different levels. And this is what my life is like. Actually, it is an image that we use a lot in systemic pedagogy… Read more

  • The Fast Forward Button

    Fast For…what? Those of you familiar with the notion “cassette player”, “VCR” or other mechano-audiovisual devices will remember a button which was called the Fast Forward Button. For those who have not grown up to use these relics of times long past: It was meant to give you the opportunity to quickly – or, fast… Read more