The Clear Horizon

From oblivion of alcoholism into the light of sobriety

  • Parental expectations, told and untold

    Today I had a podcast interview with two awesome guys from a German Sobriety Podcast, and the topic was, of course, about my alcohol abuse and the way into recovery. There was one topic touched upon, which echoes still in my system which I find worth mentioning: Expectations my parents had in me. Even if… Read more

  • there is no beginning, no end, no certainty. So, why not make my own worldview…?

    Let’s face two perspectives: And then we have the opposite: 2. The Universe is cold. It’s big. It’s impossible to fathom. There is no certainty. By its nature, the universe is chaos, it’s not structured; no, not even the physical laws are that predictable, since Quantum Mechanics tell us that there are only probabilities, but… Read more

  • My recovery is political after all…

    I try to be as little politcal as possible in this blog, yes. I will not blame political right or left, nor do I want to nameshame certain politicians or spread political views. But I would like to comment on certain developments, political and societal, which really tick me off in terms of having turned… Read more

  • Half a Year!

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  • Trying to sound professional: The entropo-syntropic nucleus genesis

    This is the outcome of the try to combine my thoughts on a mental-health coaching method with AI to help me with a (pseudo-)scientific definition: The Entropo‑Syntropic Nucleus Genesis denotes a self‑directed, constructivist transformation process in which experiences are first opened entropically, fragmented, and detached from existing structures of meaning, in order to then be… Read more

  • Evidence for sustainable Self efficacy

    I have been pondering on this issue for a while now, and up until now, I could only get a grasp on self efficacy in terms of short lived response and reward (feeling good with a rush of dopamine and then slowly bounce back (ideally) into a state of balanced emotional state for a while).… Read more

  • I am not a Lovecraftian investigator, or am I…?

    Ok. Obviously I am not in reality a lone space farer in the merciless expanse of the Universe, nor am I a psychic detective who exposes supernatural beings, nor an investigator drowning in his whiskey glass over nightmarish madness encountered lurking in the dark. Do I want to be one? Probably not. So, why is… Read more

  • Space Horror isn‘t necessarily Cosmic Horror. – Here’s why and why it matters

    Boy, I really need to have an eye on myself not getting actually consumed by the topic which is currently my navigational compass. I just saw a Cosmic Horror film that just ticks off every single characteristic of what makes a film or story Cosmic Horror. And that brings me to the question: When is… Read more

  • A cycle ending, but the Horror goes on…?

    A week at the sea has ended and I am back in domestic territory. Funny thing: After a perfectly clear horizon yesterday giving me the symbolic anchor of a time to breathe, today the weather hailed us with snow and wind. As if the Universe wanted to tell me something… No, joke aside. Of course… Read more

  • The Clearest Horizon in a Long time: What do the old ones from the Deep try to Tell me? – The power of symbolism in Recovery

    Yes, another overcomplicated headline and topic, but the longer I stay at the sea and the more time I find at the moment to dive into the works of Thomas Ligotti, my hyperfocus is feverishly working. And then, today, I went to the beach, and it was the clearest horizon I saw in a long… Read more