The Clear Horizon

From oblivion of alcoholism into the light of sobriety

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  • Most disturbing personal horror, pt. 2 – is there a „deeper“ than rock bottom?

    I thought of writing this already in the last post. But it didn’t seem to really fit. In the end, I am going to write about it, anyways. I am just in the mood. Dealing with all these personal horrors I dealt with yesterday, I just realized, had been a really dreadful anxiety – reality… Read more

  • Most disturbing personal Horror

    Sometimes diving too deep into the Rabbit Hole has something in stock that’s really messing up and shaking the very foundations of my resilience systems. Not in terms of falling back into toxic habit loops or alcohol abuse, but something that keeps my psyche on its toes for longer than I would like to: Bad… Read more

  • The Bad Advisor is really Nyarlathotep

    Here is another practical example of how the work on Journaling RPG and incorporating it into short stories or – in this case my revelation came with – a ballad. The idea was to work with a different approach and I am still working on the visuals. At the moment, I only have some draft… Read more

  • Welcome to Innsmouth

    How could I dive practically deeper into self efficacy while at the same time utilize my love for Cosmic Horror in the most practical sense I can muster? Yes, practical hobbies, the solitude of nature and being alone with my dark and gloomy thoughts at dawn in a murky forest at a nameless, deep, dark… Read more

  • Another word on nostalgia – why old patterns and habits in a renewed appearance is a real support

    Indulging in music of my adolescence and my early grown up years still serves a very important function. And actually Cosmic Horror, Science Fiction, RPG and all that stuff serves the same function. Why is that so? Fundamentally, the “mobile imagery” comes back into play (cf. “My life is like a Mobile“): Every choice to… Read more

  • How the death of my uncle offers a quantum of solace

    This is a pretty personal note on an incident that just happened recently: My uncle died, and although he wasn’t that close to me and my grief has its frontiers, it has a couple of implications about my own finiteness of life. First of all, I am in a current state of reevaluating and restructuring… Read more

  • Is AI making us deliberately stupid? A Word on digital dementia

    I don’t know what it particularly is, maybe a drive towards high level activating activities to boost dopamine release, but I love to dive into controversial discussions. There have been a lot of things passing through my system during times of teaching and working as a social worker, at the same time when I was… Read more

  • The Clear Horizon vs Cthulhu

    This is the project in which I want to incorporate dealing with Neurodiversity, Sobriety and Self Efficacy and short stories related to Cosmic Horror. It’s a project that is evolving and I am curious as how to this is going to unfold. Mind that it may be progressing or degressing deliberately, depending on how my… Read more

  • Defeating self expectations, or self defeating expectations?

    Here we go again. Seeing the logo of my podcast host service alone pushes up stress levels. Why is that so? Well, it’s all about motivation and in turn over exaggerated expectations generated by it. The problem arising is a recurring pattern in ADHD, enough to make a Cosmic Horror short story out of (and… Read more

  • mechanics of Journaling RPG and the subconscious processing of my alcoholism

    Yes, it’s cosmic horror again. I am just about to finish my first three short stories, and one is, I think, one of the more obvious processing of alcoholism. As I said, I use Cosmic Horror as a vehicle to tap into subconscious processes of my addiction, and in the case of the upcoming short… Read more