No…not like a phone. Well, sometimes maybe, but this is not what I mean.

I mean the kind of kinetic art sculpture you can hang from a ceiling with dangling parts on different levels.

And this is what my life is like. Actually, it is an image that we use a lot in systemic pedagogy and therapy.

Based on this figure in systemics, I just visualized my life as such a mobile, and that is for a couple of reasons.

A mobile normally consists of different amounts of levels, all interconnected by strings and then the levels in itself are consisting of sticks or poles that themselves lead either to different new levels or elements that are moving freely.

The nice thing about a mobile is, that once you tip an element, it starts moving the whole thing. There are, then, three possibilities to interact with the movement of the mobile: You can try to stop the mobile and halt its movement, or leave it moving until it stops on its own, or you can try to slow down its movement. But you can never fast forward or rewind its movement.

And: The more it is tipped, the heaver it will move.

Ah, and then there’s one last aspect: You can completely change its moving characteristics by either adding or removing elements.

Now, where is the similarity to my life, then?

If I consider the elements belonging to one level, they can be seen as a time axis in a certain period in my life which may be seen in a cross-section of a period in my life.

Looking at the top-down axis of the mobile, i.e. the different levels from top to down, this can be seen as a longitudinal section through all periods of my life.

The interesting thing about this view is, that every interaction with the whole system has ripple effect from the bottom to the top: If tip the lowest, farthest outside element of the system, it has effects on the top of the system. That is: If there were any interactions in the past, then it would have an effect on my present. And: Dealing with different layers and different elements in the form of deconstructing, reevaluation and reshaping will have effects on the evaluation or my overall view of all the different aspects. This way, it makes it more understandable to me if there are different aspects of my core I need to dive into to have an explanation for, say, heavier alcohol consumption in different periods of my life.

The most important notion that came to my mind is, however, the intensity and length of the “ripple effect” of interactions with the system: The heavier the interaction, the more intense the rippling effects will be, even strong enough to damage or destroy parts of the system. It is, of course, possible to repair or remove parts of the mobile, but this changes the whole mobile. And I cannot speed up the tempo of the rippling to get it over with. I have to endure it and accept it. There are many things to process from my Core, and the more I am at ease at the thought of painful emotions rippling up to the top level, the better I can cope. There is no fast forwarding. Stopping the ripple effect is an outside interaction. That would be help, medication, therapy, extrinsic motivation or events that have an effect on the rippling effect sent through my system.

This may not be anything new, but the visualization of my biography as an interactive system that can be irritated at any spot to have changes made in its position of the individual parts is very helpful to me, because in systemics, one very important statement is: You can only change a system if you irritate it. And even small irritations may help seeing it from another angle and thus make changes of its orientation.

As I said, this is nothing particularly new. But breaking down the process of Recovery to the image of a systemic mobile is very helpful in finding orientation on my way. And orientation is something that gets lost as a neurodivergent person pretty easily.

Until next time: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.