A complicated title to this blog.

What I mean is the following:

Remember the seemingly nonsensical BS I wrote yesterday? Very good. If your brain works like mine (which is not very probable) you might even make sense of the Mumbo-Jumbo I wrote yesterday. And that was only the practical application.

Today I would like to try to explain (or describe, maybe even only type down illogical stuff) regarding the way I try to use seemingly incompatible mindsets to form new ones that make a bit more sense to me and that help reorganize the chaos in my little universe.

To recapitulate one core aspect of my effort to make sense of it all: Only if I can make sure I accept myself as the centre of my small universe, I will be able to keep a little bit of control of it all through self efficacy. Luckily, that doesn’t render me as an egomaniac a(&54le, on the contrary. Since I deem altruism a part of my identity, the last thing I need is a universe that is only spinning around me. Nor am I a megalomaniac.

Are you familiar with post-constructivism? No? Well it’s a complicated thing. I don’t understand half of the mass of information I would need to understand what post-constructivism is, but one thing I know for sure, is: There is no objective reality or truth out there. It’s all about views, narratives, opinion, power, choice and argumentation. Even evidence based science works only as a consensus of scientists coming to terms with a consensual framework, theories and empiric results. But that is not the objective truth. It’s consensus.

I don’t object consensus too much, since there are enough valuable scientific evidence to explain the world close enough to something objective. But the maneuvering space for different opinion always sparks conflict and discussion, which is good. But it gets you in trouble, if your mindsets don’t fit.

So, what is my take? Well, in the vastness of the cosmos, it’s easy to believe that there are truths in this universe we cannot even dare to fathom. And the conclusion is, you can only control you own systems. And that is by building you own centers. So each individual perspective on reality is formed by your and my individual choices, experience and views, narratives and mindsets, rendering reality as a fragmented, center less interconnected little hubs and centers that in a way make up a consensual reality. This is what I understand as post-constructivism: Deconstruct, reevaluate and reshape in ways that seem sensible.

This way it is easier to have a more dynamic approach on life and reality, and that is something determined by choices and actions. This is something I can control.

And in order to reshape certain aspects of my.reality, I need to deconstruct certain mindsets and put them into contrast and maybe reevaluate their informational and useful load to reshape it in a way that my world remains functional or returns to functionality. An example would be the essay I wrote yesterday.

Another example is reevaluating my friendships, my relationship to my parents and the values that are associated with them.

A very recent (and ongoing) deconstruction and reshaping is that of my professional identity: I love working with people. But there are three aspects that don’t always match and that I have to put into a contrast nonetheless and reevaluate them in a way so that they fit into my reality without losing my mind:

I. Being a parent

II. Being a teacher

III- Being a social worker

No, they don’t fit snugly into one system. There is always friction and inertia. There is always conflict. As a teacher, I take a different stance from being a parent. I take a different stance as a social worker. So, how do I combine these three parts of identity?

The identity part and the mindsets coming along with the label “teacher” start to fade away quickly. At least in Germany, I don’t know how and why I ever had the energy to work as a teacher for almost 15 years. I still work on this insight. Yet, it were good 15 years (taking away the fact that I drank a lot). Being a parent and being a social worker have taken strong control over my system, and it feels good. Since I started reevaluating my roles in both identity parts, I have developed to become a better father and social worker. Why, I don’t know yet (exactly). I could speculate. But I won’t.

The takeaway is, that mindsets and truths, truisms and convictions don’t need to stay the same all my life. And they may contrast or oppose in different episodes of my life. But by deconstructing and reevaluating and then reconstructing them again, I develop. What does this have to do with Recovery?

Basically everything. Developing means working on my Core. Becoming more self reliant. That strengthens my sobriety.

Until next time, take one step at a time and keep up the faith in yourself.