I definitely touched upon the topic habits and when they might be or become toxic. What I didn’t do, I think, was deal with the aspect of motivation, as to why, I actually pursue certain habits and actions, and in how far the individual pursuit of “good” habits is intrinsic, extrinsic, and when either is good or bad.

First of all: What is intrinsic motivation? It means you have the drive to do something because it comes from your inner self to fulfill an action or pursue a goal.

Extrinsic motivation is something that externally determines the drive to accomplish something.

Normally, I guess, it is no problem to actually determine if something is extrinsic or intrinsic in the first place and thus it seems a logical conclusion that intrinsic motivation is something that is good for me and extrinsic might be, but could be bad as well.

Now, this is only partly true in all regards.

Visualizing, taking small steps and “listening” to my emotions that are attached to the action or motivation brings individual answers to the questions of intrinsic, extrinsic, good or bad.

The reason to do so is that I am not always quite sure if it is really MY intrinsic motivation, or if I think it is necessary to do certain things, because it is expected or I tell myself it is good to do it for external benefits.

So the first thing is to determine if it is truly intrinsic. Because if it isn’t, it is very cumbersome keeping up the habit, and often I stop seeing the sensibility, so I terminate the action or habit. That leave me with a bad feeling: If I think it’s intrinsic and I don’t keep up with it, maybe I blame myself for having no willpower or that I am not strong or determined enough.

I found out, only if I have the clear distinction between extrinsic and intrinsic, I can determine a sensibility of an action and a habit. And then it is also ok to be driven extrinsically, but I need the clarification. In this case, it has to do with self efficacy and self esteem, which in itself may reinforce pursuing an action or habit furthermore.

Otherwise, it may become toxic and I better lay it off, because it may harm more than it does any good.

BTW: I am not talking about toxic habit loops or addiction. I talk about conscious decisions.

And, in the end, if I stick to habits or actions that don’t feel meaningful or sensible anymore, I might start procrastinating or ending up in actual toxic habit loops to compensate.

It’s a complicated thing.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.