My first thought was: Great, I have enough time to redirect my energy I used with drinking into something useful: Let’s find an engagement to fill the gap.

Well, yes. Partly true, but only partly. In the time of the Pink Cloud, that felt pretty straightforward and it had the shine of something to dive into when normally a craving would hit home.

Since I have left the Pink Cloud and the enthusiasm about having so much energy and power has normalized a bit (or rather, a lot!), engaging in a blog, a podcast and writing a book has left the realm of “I’m simply doing it for me and maybe someone is interested in my story” to “Wow, I guess we as a sober community may really make a difference”. That was also the point when I decided not to keep it anonymous anymore.

Well, I don’t run into the world and shout everybody my sobriety in the face, but I found out that being authentic and truthful not only boosts my good feeling about myself, but I think in an altruistic manner, we as a community can help a lot of people and thereby help ourselves. And in a community, I feel more comfortable.

After all, I don’t want to join the AA. Don’t get me wrong. I really think it is a great organization and they do a tremendously great job. But that’s not so much my way of staying sober.

Since this all has to do with identity and how your actions and habits shape your identity, I felt I needed something to engage in where I have nice people, I can do something I like and I can do something I have the skills for.

So, in the end it all comes down to the question of self efficacy and self esteem, self love and all that jazz. But since I strongly identify with being altruistic, sharing my skills and engagement in sobriety communities not only encompasses writing a blog and podcasting. It’s about meeting people and exchanging thoughts.

So, I joined a group in Germany that is celebrating sobriety and recovery. You will find a link in the resources section. And I will offer my services as a sober guide as soon as my application has been handled.

I am very excited about that, and that is far from the excitement I get from material or substance abuse quick fixes. It’s genuine and it’s lasting.

Will it render me unfathomably happy? I guess not, because that’s not what it’s about. But it’s about a good feeling of sharing and caring, and that’s a good feeling that is sustainable.

Until next time, keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.