Okay. Actually, the heading is pretty click-baity, but there is a certain truth in the statement which I wanted to elaborate on a bit.

The situation was that I needed to make my way through a one way and a car blocked my way and the driver talked to the passengers who just exited the car. It was a bus that transports disabled children home from school.

I waited. And I waited. Then I honked. The father of the girl looked at me and made gestures as if he wanted to fight me because I honked at the car.

Yes, honking is not nice. And honking at a family with a girl that needs aid isn’t nice, either. So I guess the father thought: “What’s up with the freak in his white car? Why can’t he wait until we have finished our conversation? Doesn’t he realize our daughter is disabled? What a heartless b*strd.”

Yeah, maybe that’s what he thought. But there are a couple of implications in this situation:

1. Of course the family is in need of support, but that is no excuse to act like a complete dork family. There was no need for the father to feel offended.
2. The bus driver could have just passed through the street and park at the side to avoid further congestion, because I wasn’t the only one waiting.
3. The family has a problem, sure. But it is not my particular problem in this situation, because I have my problem of staying on time for my next appointment. It’s always the same: My comfort zone is interfered with when others expand theirs.

I don’t have any bad conscience about honking and violating the comfort zone of the people ahead. Maybe I would have done so earlier, because I might have thought that it is my duty to always budge and be nice, especially when it’s needy people ahead.

Today my answer to that is: No. I don’t need to be nice to everyone only to please their desires or needs. If I have a need or desire which I have to fulfill and I don’t damage or objectively offend another person, then I will always choose authenticity, my priority and (if necessary) be unforgiving and relentless.

It’s not about being egoistic. It’s more about being true to myself and being reliable in terms of people knowing what to expect from me. I am no people pleaser at any cost. There was no effort for the bus driver to drive ahead and for the family to walk 10 meters more so that traffic can pass. I was not the egoistic person here. The family and the bus driver were.

If you have another opinion, let me know. I know what I stand for and I will not act against my convictions only to be nice.

These are important insights to stay mentally sane and sober.

Until next time, keep the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.