Do I sound melodramatic? Maybe. But that is how most of the time you’ll feel when in a remorseful state you can’t escape if you want to quit drinking but can’t muster the strength to escape the loop of triggers, cravings, giving in to cravings and then swearing to never drink again just to find out you’ll start the whole loop again anyways.

Podcasters I have been following for some time now state, that there is the moment it may make “click” and you finally find the strength and enough impetus to propel you out of this loop.

That was the moment I took the opportunity to use an online application with drink tracker and habit changing input, as well as diverse books, a program which makes you reflect your dealing with alcohol and books like the one by James Clear and Allan Pease (have a look at the preceding posts).

I won’t get into too much detail here, but in the time of reflecting the last months (up to last year) I found out that making New Year’s resolutions is not necessary, but keeping up pursuing the goals I had already set.

In the wake of this reflection (which has been the most intense in years), I asked myself the question: Am I in the middle of a midlife crisis?

Interestingly, the waning of my forties seemed to aggravate my alcohol problem. I had been conscious of this for years. The deteriorating health of my mother added to this feeling. I started fighting against this feeling with changing my job already two years ago.

But only these days I became aware that, in the succession of 2025, I started improving my health by sports, struggling with alcohol reduction (that was already a new Years resolution 2024, 2023 and 2022), and so forth led to a bit by bit improvement of the entire me. So, instead of diving headlong into a depression, I could step by step decrease the problematic aspects of my life and sobriety only became the tip of the spire:

I changed to a job that serves me well, as well as my family and other people (2023).

I started (seriously) struggling with alcohol intake as of 2024.

2025 became the year I started working out and running. End result: sobriety, high fitness level and 30 lbs less on the scale.

So: catharsis? Maybe, but in installments. End result: I turned away from a cliff where I would have fallen into a vortex of midlife crisis, depression and substance abuse without frontiers.

Until next time: Take on step at a time and keep up the faith in yourself.