At first, I didn’t even want to become completely sober. I just wanted to drink commonsensical, meaning I wanted to drink like anybody else.

Thing is, I found out that on occasions of commonsensical drinking, it was an illusion all along. I drank way too much on these occasions, so all set boundaries ended up in self fraud. I used a drinking tracker and pretended I was in my boundaries, which is complete and utter nonsense.

I started listening to podcasts, watched videos and started a low level self – coaching webinar and an app where you get input to rebrand your habits. Simply put: It gave me reflective methods and possibilities to overthink my drinking. The first week without any drop of alcohol was easier than I thought. I think this his what people call the pink fluffy cloud, where you ecstatically celebrate each drink that you didn’t drink. Soon enough, the dopamine it sets free ebbs up and you find yourself helplessly confronted with your real emotions. This can be bad or good. I decided to take it as a good sign. Luckily, I have a good therapist and I have a professional background that gives me enough lever to handle these situations.

I finally decided, that drinking is not an option anymore, because I will simply end up in drinking the same amounts as before and it will even worsen.

Now I have mastered two months and I get the feeling that my decision to never have.a drink again is not sustained by pure willpower, but a fundamental mindset.

I could achieve this mindset by months of self-induced brainwashing, habitual changes and affirmations. I will elaborate on this more in a later post.

Till then. Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.

PS: Good reads are “Atomic Habits” by James Clear and “The Answer” by Allan Pease. These books were really helpful in terms of changing habits and mindsets.