This is something a couple of people in my environment find awkward, puzzling or disturbing that I have such a big issue with horror films and horror games. My wife always asks me how I can actually watch so many horror films without cracking up, taking into consideration that I have a diagnosed anxiety disorder and mild depression symptoms (as of March 2026).

Some things to clarify before:

1. I hate slashers. They are always the same and the jump scares are just ridiculous. The brutality and gore is nothing that I find entertaining and the storylines are mostly for the bin.
2. I don’t like teenage-survive-the-weekend films where one character dies after the other in ridiculously stupid incidents. This kind of film is often mixed with slashers. So, see above.
3. I don’t like French New Brutality. It is just too brutal and has no entertaining value to me.

I don’t detest violence as such in a horror movie, but it should rather be subtle, or so excessive that it gets comical aspects.

I like the atmospheric and subltle aspects of horror films, slow burning films without jump scares, films that create an eery and overall unsettling story, especially when it comes to an underlying lore or world building.

Is that some sort of reality escape? Definitely. Like indulging in fantasy or schience fiction. I find it ok, though, because I tend to do it on a mindful and moderate level.

But why horror? Well, it’s not only escaping reality. The unsettling and disturbing aspects of horror films and rpgs are appealing to my own fears and depressive thoughts. I find consuming horror movies and rpg in a best sense entertaining and triggering my anxieties and depressive feelings in such a defused manner, that it is like a hypersensibilisation to a phobia or an allergy. Or maybe it is like meditating and relaxing in order to give me the emotional state to cry and let loose. My wife loves kitschy Hallmark movies that give her the reason to have this nice feeling of wanting to cry when the ending is happy or (like in Titanic) to end the film on a melancholic note.

It’s the same with horror films for me. And now comes the best bit: I wrote about RPG with journalling (where you write a diary and construct your story in a solo gameplay). How cool is that! I can play a game which gives me the pleasing effect of goosebumps and eery atmosphere and at the same time I can work on fears and depression. This is an approach that I discussed earlier, when writing about clients with social phobia that we confront with their fear in fantasy role playing situations.

I love the aspect of soloing, though, at least in this regard, because I can dive deep into my emotional state without necessarily sharing with others. If I feel the need to share, I always find like minded people to talk to.

If this is only coincidental, or causal, I don’t know. But my consumption of horror films and the like has definitely increased since I stepped out of the Pink Cloud….

Anyways. It contributes to my recovery in its own right, and as far as it doesn’t become addictive or toxic, I’ll stick to it.

Until next time: Take one step at a time and keep up the faith in yourself.