I think it makes sense to work on three levels here: Firstly, there will be postings about my “drinking career” and secondly my “sobriety career” and then postings about aspects, situations, methods and thoughts that help me to get on in my sobriety career and to share worries, happy thoughts, daily snippets and stuff. Let’s begin with my drinking career – not only share my alcoholic biography, but also to explore possible reasons helping me (maybe helping you?) to find out why I actually got into the bad habit of poisoning myself.

I think the earliest exposure to alcohol I can remember, is the fact that my parents always had at least one bottle of beer for dinner and sometimes wine or a schnapps for digestion on weekends. So, it was pretty normal and nothing worrisome for me to experience other people to drink. Apart from that, friends of my parents also drank beer on visits and on vacation it was the same. The advertisment for alcohol was pretty common in television back then and it was commendable to drink beer.

Of course, beer and “lighter” forms of alcohol were only restricted to ages 16 and up, and harder booze (above 18%, I guess) was for 18 and up. It was a forbidden fruit. Since I experienced alcohol was something very common in every day life, I wouldn’t mind to try a sip when my dad offered me one at the age of 10 or so. Of course, I didn’t like it then.

A couple of years later, being a teenager, it was deemed “cool” to drink beer secretly, when we sneaked a bottle out or on parties when parents were out of the house. I hated the taste, but if you wanted to be a proper guy, you had to drink beer. So, when I was 13 or 14, I can remember, that we were on vacation in southern France on a campsite, and here I had my first drunk experience. I can remember that I drank a can of beer (0,5l, or 16 fl oz, or roughly one pint) with a straw and afterwards pure Pernod from a bottle. It didn’t take long and I was hammered. I can only remember that I found it very funny being drunk, but I hated the hangover the next day.

Then time took its toll. It became common for us to go to parties and have beer and wine, and although I didn’t like the taste of beer at first, I forced it down to feel like a proper guy (duh). Then I got used to the taste of beer, and ever since I got to the legal age to buy beer in the supermarket (which you can do in my country), we got hammered on each party we went to. Soon enough, we would start drinking in pubs as well. But that’s a different posting.

Until then: Keep up the faith in yourself and take one step at a time.